December 21, 2016 · Bethesda ·
Sometimes you walk into a bathroom and someone's sitting in a stall
noticeably trying to do their business quietly. I just walked into the bathroom
and this dude hears me come in and tries to keep eating his potato chips
October 9, 2016 ·
I admit that I frequently preface statements by saying "contrary to popular
belief" despite little to no idea of what the people actually think.
September 6, 2016 · Silver Spring ·
Today an Uber driver told me that whoever's giving me a bad day "they just
jealous" which is something I had not realized about my sunburn, Amtrak
delays, or morale-eroding couch-surfing.
January 17 at 11:49pm · Dubai, United Arab Emirates ·
Announcement: if this plane goes down please be aware that your current
profile photo is the shot that will become permanently associated with your
visual memory. Consider changing it before take off. Thank you and we wish
you a pleasant journey.
October 20, 2016 · Jerusalem, Israel ·
Ever since I lost faith in democracy this election
has gotten so much more bearable.
January 12 at 8:48am · Hyderabad, India ·
I really want to tell a judge that I'll let them be
9 hrs · Livingston, NJ ·
I have a to-do list app that doesn't have a "failed to accomplish" button. It's
just "completed" and snooze. Useless.
Abie updated his profile picture.
November 23, 2016 ·
Abie at Secunderabad Market
January 14 at 8:56am · Secunderabad, India ·
"So that's gotta suck that she doesn't like flowers"
November 6, 2016 ·
My Uber just got crunched by a Supershuttle so I booked. His slow driving
cost me more time than his collisions.
Also, my neck hurts.