The Adventures of Abie

Written by Super User on . Posted in Humor


December 21, 2016 · Bethesda ·

Sometimes you walk into a bathroom and someone's sitting in a stall

noticeably trying to do their business quietly. I just walked into the bathroom

and this dude hears me come in and tries to keep eating his potato chips

more quietly.




October 9, 2016 ·

I admit that I frequently preface statements by saying "contrary to popular

belief" despite little to no idea of what the people actually think.



September 6, 2016 · Silver Spring ·

Today an Uber driver told me that whoever's giving me a bad day "they just

jealous" which is something I had not realized about my sunburn, Amtrak

delays, or morale-eroding couch-surfing.



January 17 at 11:49pm · Dubai, United Arab Emirates ·

Announcement: if this plane goes down please be aware that your current

profile photo is the shot that will become permanently associated with your

visual memory. Consider changing it before take off. Thank you and we wish

you a pleasant journey.



October 20, 2016 · Jerusalem, Israel ·

Ever since I lost faith in democracy this election

has gotten so much more bearable.



January 12 at 8:48am · Hyderabad, India ·

I really want to tell a judge that I'll let them be

the judge.



9 hrs · Livingston, NJ ·

I have a to-do list app that doesn't have a "failed to accomplish" button. It's

just "completed" and snooze. Useless.


Abie updated his profile picture.

November 23, 2016 ·


Abie at Secunderabad Market

January 14 at 8:56am · Secunderabad, India ·

"So that's gotta suck that she doesn't like flowers"



November 6, 2016 ·

My Uber just got crunched by a Supershuttle so I booked. His slow driving

cost me more time than his collisions.

Also, my neck hurts.