Dear Rivkie

Written by Super User on . Posted in Dating

Dear Rivkie,

Why can Ivanka find a nice Jewish boy and I can only find a nice goyish one?


Frustrated Faye


Dear Faye,

Whoa whoa whoa, hold your horses. Now, we all know that Ivanka is honestly pretty fabulous. Heck, she’s gorgeous and a billionaire. I mean, even Rivkie follows her on Instagram! It’s easy to find a goy. There are over 300 million goyim in this country. It’s harder to find a Jew, but it’s worth it.


All in all, it is Hashem who is the ultimate matchmaker, but we must do our hishtadlus (effort) to optimize our chances of meeting that bashert (soulmate). See if any of the online resources available are right for you (JWed, yuconnects, Jewishsoulsearch). Email me and I’ll put you in touch with one of the shadchanim (matchmakers) I know. Go to an event for Jewish singles–– American Friends of Lubavitch (TheShul) in DC has monthly young professionals Friday night dinners, for example), and bring a friend if you feel shy about it.

Make a shidduch resume, if you feel like that will help, and have other (honest) people look at it and give you suggestions. And tell everyone you know that you are on the market (or out of the freezer). Many people meet because they know someone who knows someone. That’s how I met my bashert. And believe me, it was not an auspicious start, but the someone who fixed us up told the person who didn’t want to go out again (okay, yes it was my husband who didn’t want to–– the nerve!) that he had to give it another try, and here we are almost 18 years and several children later.

It can be disheartening to feel that you are the only one who hasn’t found The One, but believe me, many people are in your situation. With a little faith and a little effort, things will work out.

Need advice? Email Dear Rivkie at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.