I am a 25-year-old man and I am terrified of being single. I am worried I am acting abnormal for my age. I had to work extremely hard for a long period in order to become financially independent, which was not easy because of my humble beginnings and a very long spell of unemployment. The work itself took up so much time that I was unable to participate in singles events in the area.
I have done astrology on the side for more than a year and I would like to use horoscopes to make a marriage connection. Where do I go?
I have good news for you. Apparently, there is a thing called a “shidduch crisis,” wherein more girls than boys are looking for a spouse, which totally works in your favor!
Seriously though, it is heartening to see that young men are concerned about this issue and not just young women. That’s right, Simon. You are young. Twenty-five is hardly over the hill. You have plenty of time to find “the one.” It is actually laudable that you have spent this time to make yourself financially solvent and ready to build a family on a firm foundation. Don’t beat yourself up about it.
There are lots of ways to start expanding your social circle in order to meet more people — not just a potential wife, but new friends as well. Often, we meet our spouses through our friends, or friends of friends. How do you do this? Find a group of twenty-somethings at your local shul and see what social opportunities they take advantage of. Speak to a rabbi about this issue and see what advice he can offer. And, of course, there are lots of resources for singles in this area, from American Friends of Lubavitch Shabbatons in DC to shadchanim (matchmakers) who can work with you on a personal level.
In terms of horoscopes, as you may know, rabbinic authorities in the Talmud gave a certain level of importance to astrology. Even so, I would caution against giving too much credence to it in terms of finding a mate. For example, what if you find the perfect girl, but she’s an Aries and you’re a Taurus, if you know what I’m saying? Remember, HaKadosh Baruch Hu, the Holy One blessed be He, is the one who guides and decides these matters (and everything else too), so turning toward Him is never a bad idea.
Overall, you sound like a mature young man who has done everything right. Don’t be too hard on yourself and do devote time and energy to this endeavor. It may take some work and some awkward moments, but it will be well worth it in the end. I hope all the stars align to help you find your zivug (life partner).
All the best,